


Mistletoe & Mines

by Therm (Mister_Spock)



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 19:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Spock/pseuds/Therm
Summary: Another Christmas at the M*A*S*H 4077th, I really didn't think anyone would notice if I snuck another in there.





	Mistletoe & Mines

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I cannot promise there will be mistletoe or mines in this story.
> 
> Unfinished

Packaging was sprawled across the tent, contents from the box lay across the floor, the cot. They had outdone themselves this year. Charles wouldn't have to even eat the swill in the Mess tent come Christmas day, he had enough to last him a few days.  
He'd also had a box delivered full of items for the orphans so his own personal stash wouldn't get raided.

He was delighted with the haul he'd received. It seemed he'd overlooked something though.

Another package tucked in the corner. He picked up the last box remaining and took off the note attached to it and started to read.

In the mess tent, Christmas Eve morning and everyone still seemed to be pouring over the letter they'd received the day before.

"My Mother-in-law is doing Christmas dinner. What I wouldn't give for some of that. Her stuffing is divine." BJ looked up from the letter at Hawkeye who was just staring at him. "What?"

"Do you have any idea what you just said?"

"Oh Hawk, it's Christmas Eve. It's a time to celebrate. I mean I know it sucks we can't be with our families, our loved ones, but it's still a special day."

"You're right, Beej. I'll keep my thoughts clean. Especially as Father Mulcahy is heading this way."

"I mean, it's not like Erin knows any different than Christmas time without her Daddy..."

"Hello Hawkeye, BJ. Mind if I join you?"

"No Father, please sit with us." Hawkeye enthused.

"..it would be weirder for her if I were there. Some stranger she doesn't even know trying to hug her and kiss her. She'd probably cry through the whole thing..."

"Is everything okay?" Mulcahy asked Hawkeye, looking at BJ and his slightly demented ramblings that were increasing in volume and anger.

"It's just..." Hawkeye started.

"It's just me realizing that my daughter is probably having a better Christmas without me there!" Bj said, getting up and storming out the room.

Hawkeye watched him go. He sighed. He expected BJ to blow up at some point over the holidays. Probably better now than later. "I'll give him a while to cool off."

"Probably for the best."

"So, how are you today, Father?"

"Oh, can't grumble. I'll be off to get the orphans later. Do you think you can arrange for medical check-up's while they're here?"

"Of course. Who's organising the party this year"

"Well... it's supposed to be Margaret and Klinger but it doesn't seem to be going very well if the shouting coming from the pair of them is anything to go by."

"I'm sure they'll sort it out." Hawkeye lamented with little conviction in his voice. Mulcahy raised his eyebrows.

"Cap'n Pierce," Radar said as he approached the two men.

"Oh, hello Radar," Mulcahy greeted warmly.

"Hi, Father. Hawk, I got a package for you right here."

"For me?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I thought you did all the mail yesterday."

"I did most of it Sir, but there was so much I had to sort the rest out first thing. I hope you're not too mad, Sir."

"I'm especially not mad because it's not mine, Radar."

"Oh, well... yeah it is. It's from Peg. See, it says so here." Radar pointed to the sender details. "Really Sir, I was just waiting for BJ to not be around you so I could give it to you." He pointed to another part of the package that instructed that it wasn't for BJ Hunnicutt's eyes.

"Intriguing," Mulcahy commented.

Hawkeye opened the package and pulled out a note. "'Dear Hawkeye, I have sent along a special gift for BJ to open on Christmas Day. I wanted to surprise him so I hope you don't mind that I send this to you and if you wouldn't mind keeping it from him until then. I'd be so grateful, Peg & Erin.'"

"Oh, how wonderful," Mulcahy beamed.

"Gee, she sure is swell."

"I just hope I can keep this out the way of BJ."

"Hawkeye, would you like me to hold onto it until you can collect it later?"

"That'd be great Father."

"I'll put it in my footlocker. Feel free to help yourself if I'm at the orphanage when you need it."

"It's fine Father. I'll trust that you'll take good care of it. I best go make sure BJ's doing okay."

~

"Yes, Colonel?"

"Radar?" Both men said at the same time as Radar wandered into the office. "I'd really appreciate if you could put a call through to Mildrid, son. I'd love to hear her voice, wish her a Merry Christmas not on paper for a change," Potter said, holding up the letter she'd sent him.

"Oh, I think that's a great idea, Sir. I'll get right onto it."

"Thanks, Radar."

~

"Klinger! No one wants a themed Christmas party! The theme of it is Christmas, you moron!"

"Major, I just thought..."

"No! No one will want to do 'High heels and tiara's' as the theme for the Christmas party. Can you imagine the Colonel in a tiara?"

"Sure can, Major. He looks fantastic."

"NO!"

"Fine!"

"We stick with a simple Christmas party and I want you to be high heel and tiara free too!"

"Why do you have to stifle all my creativity?"

"Ugh, Klinger, what possessed me to agree to help you with this? Well, besides I knew you'd make a hash of things?"

"Because you lack sparkle, Major? Fine, Christmas is the theme of the Christmas party."

"That's better. Now, I want you to find out what food we can get. We need something special. Can I trust you to sort it out?"

"Sure thing, Major."

"Thank you, Corporal."

~

Hawkeye had planned on finding BJ but between one thing and another he'd been held up.

He did head to the Swamp first but was surprised by the mess on the inside. Sure, it's not the tidiest of places at the best of times. But not usually coming from Charles. But he didn't worry about the mess, simply clambered over it and went to Charles' bunk. Some of the assortment of items was still on his cot, other bits in the box. Hawkeye looked through a few of them, tempted to open a pack of rum and raisin biscuits Charles received but resisted.

Winchester had relaxed a fair amount recently and he didn't want to run the risk of upsetting him and stopping him from sharing with the others. He could wait.

Besides, he came here looking for BJ.

He clearly wasn't in the Swamp, so Hawkeye headed back outside. He saw Margaret heading towards her tent, looking like she wanted to break something, so he decided against speaking to her.

But then the distractions started.

He'd helped Mulcahy with some last minute supplies he needed to take to the orphanage (some of the kids were sick and wouldn't be coming). Once Mulcahy was off on his way, he'd been called into post-op to check up on one of his patients who had been showing signs of a potential fever, Luckily, with Nurse Kellye calling him so quickly when she noticed the symptoms, he was confident that they would keep the fever at bay. He stayed with the kid for a while, even though Charles was on duty and was more than capable. BJ was the furthest thing from his mind for a while.

He didn't really notice how long he was in post-op until his stomach started to protest. Heading to the mess tent he grabbed some food and enjoyed a pretty peaceful lunch.

Then BJ came to his mind again and he headed off to find him. He eventually found his bunkmate in Rosie's Bar. Hawkeye went to the bar and ordered two beers, waiting for Rosie to get the beers and keeping an eye on BJ. He seemed lost, unaware of where he was and what was happening around him.

"Captain, can I buy you a drink?" Klinger said, standing with Margaret about to order for the pair of them.

"No thanks, Klinger. These are on me." He said as he put down money for his beers and enough to cover whatever Margaret and Klinger wanted before heading off to the table with BJ.

Margaret watched him sit down at the table with BJ. "So what did you get us for food? Anything inspiring?" she asked Klinger.

"Radar's on the case. He's trying to do some deals but the phone lines have been kinda tied up right now. But Radar won't let us down."

"Now how about the banner?"

"Some of the nurses volunteered to do that," Klinger informed.

"Excellent. Now, we have to make sure that all the gifts for the orphans are wrapped up. And make sure the Colonel checks the Santa Claus suit still fits."

"It's all in hand, Major. I have your list right here."

"I know I know. I just... I want everything to be perfect. I don't want one thing going wrong tomorrow."

"It won't! Not with us at the helm."

Margaret shot Klinger a sceptical look but before she could say anything in response, BJ's voice boomed loudly across the room.

"Why don't you stay out of my damn business!"

"Well there's Christmas spirit for you," Klinger remarked.

"Come on," Margaret said as she got up and headed over to the table, BJ and Hawkeye were sat at.

~

"What's going on?" Margaret asked as she came over to Hawkeye and BJ's table.

"Nothing," BJ said getting up. "I don't need you and Klinger coming over here and pitying me. Like it's not bad enough coming from him," BJ said indicating to Hawkeye.

"I just thought you might want some company," Hawkeye defended.

"I do. But it's not Margaret and Klinger's company I want, and it's certainly not yours." BJ said, heading out of the door.

"How dare he speak to us like that?"

"C'mon Margaret you know he doesn't mean it. He's just missing his family."

"I don't know how you can be so calm about it," she mused.

Hawkeye shrugged. "I have to live with it every day," he said, smiling wryly at her.

"Rather you than me."

~

Charles was sat in the Officer's club contemplating the box his Mother had sent him.

The intentions for it were clear, however, he wasn't sure whether or not he should see her wishes through. It wasn't that he begrudged what she wanted, just the implications it may have for him, the expectations.

It may even change how people here saw him, how they felt about him and he'd always intended to get in and out without getting to know any of them.

Would it be that hard to keep his Mother's wishes to himself? What it be so selfish to wish that no part of himself missed this place when he was finally allowed to return home?

If he allowed them in, how could he ever hope to be rid of them?

The door opened with force and Hunnicutt entered, ordering himself a beer.

Charles assumed he was coming to join him when he headed in his direction. "Hunnicutt," Charles greeted. "I'd ask you to join me, but I'm swamped right now.." he said with a smile.

"I'm not in the mood, Charles," BJ said flatly, going to the corner table and sitting with his back to the door, and Charles.

And the concern that piqued in Charles told him that his Mother's package didn't matter.  
They were already part of him.

oOo

Colonel Potter sat at his desk, his latest letter from Mildred in his hands as he read through it again.

Words he'd read many times before, not just from the way he'd re-read the letter over and over since he got it but from previous years of not being there.

And for some reason, this year it seemed a much more bitter pill to swallow, to not be there with her. A letter back and forth could only say so much and his chance and been sent, anything that came along now would be too late for her to see.

He needed a drink and some good company so he headed out to find some of the others.

oOo

After BJ's outburst earlier, Margaret and Klinger had joined Hawkeye at a table in Rosie's. Margaret and Klinger filled him in on the plans they had for the party, with Hawkeye getting a kick out of Klinger's Tiara idea.

"Mind if I join you, folks?" Potter asked as he sat down with them.

"Of course not Colonel," Margaret answered. "Everything okay?"

"Yes thank you Major, long day at the office."

"Oh Colonel, there you are.." Radar said as he came bursting into Rosie's. "There's an urgent call for you, Sir."

"Hold that drink, Rosie." the Colonel called over as he got up and headed back up and outside.

"We should see if there's anything we can do to help," Margaret suggested.

"Good idea," Klinger said, wanting to help any way he could.

"Okay, but I'm gonna check on BJ on the way back. I'll catch up with you." Hawkeye said as they headed back to camp.

oOo

Hawkeye stood in the doorway of the Officer's club.

Charles looked up, saw him and then returned to the letter he was reading without so much as a nod. Charming as ever. In the corner from Charles sat BJ, back to the door, shoulders squared in a way that told him he wasn't looking for company.

Hawkeye did notice that the beer BJ was nursing wasn't really being drunk.

"Igor, how many has he had?" Hawkeye asked quietly, pointing over to BJ.

"Just the one," Igor answered as he cleaned the glasses.

"Good. Do me a favour, if he starts getting heavy with them, send someone to get me, okay?" Igor nodded and Hawkeye walked over to the pair. "Well, well, if it isn't a Swamp reunion. So nice to see you both." When both of them ignored him, he carried on regardless. "What's that? Come join you? No, I couldn't impose!"

"Pierce, kindly shut up and go away." Charles snapped.

"Don't talk to him like that," BJ defended, looking round to the other man. Charles merely rolled his eyes at the pair and turned away from them.

"So?" Hawkeye didn't need to tell BJ what he as doing here, he knew.

"Look don't worry, I'm not going to get crazy and do anything stupid. I just want a little bit of quiet time to myself, okay?"

"Okay, fine. But if you're not back by midnight I'll be dragging you back with me."

BJ smiled. He appreciated Hawkeye's concern, even if it wasn't needed right then. Hawkeye laid a hand on BJ's shoulder before heading out the officer's club.

oOo

"...okay, understood... I'll get back to you with details, ASAP."

Colonel Potter was finishing up on the phone just as Margaret and Klinger were walking in. Radar was already stood in the room, ready to run any errands the Colonel needed from him.

"Is everything okay, Colonel?" Margaret asked.

"Not really. Battalion Aid took a bad hit. They need some instant relief and we need to send a couple of people down there, pronto. Radar..."

"Oh yeah Colonel, I got it right here. It's er, Captain Hunnicutt's turn down at the front."

"Right."

"Yo want me to get him, Sir?"

"I'll go and tell him myself."

"Colonel, you'll need a nurse?"

"They requested one, yes Major."

She nodded. "I'll go myself. My nurses have been working hard and they're looking forward to this Christmas party."

"But Major, you're supposed to help me get it ready!" Klinger protested.

"Someone else can do that. This is actually important, Klinger!"

"Major, get yourself ready, you and Hunnicutt need to leave pronto. They're desperate up there."

"Right away, Colonel."

"Klinger I have a list here of some medical supplies they're short on. See what we can spare and get them ready to go in five minutes. Radar, get a Jeep ready." They all rushed to do what the Colonel requested and with them on a mission, the Colonel headed out. He just got outside when he walked into Hawkeye.

"Oh Colonel I was just coming to see what the urgency was all about," Hawkeye said.

"No time, Hawkeye. Where's BJ?"

"The Officer's club. Why, is something wrong?"

Potter started to walk toward it, Pierce keeping pace. "Plenty. Battalion Aid needs a doctor now and Hunnicutt's turn has come round."

"Wait, wait, wait. You can't send BJ up there on Christmas Eve. The guys a mess."

"A mess?"

"Okay, well more brooding..."

"Pierce, I haven't got time for this."

"Look, Colonel, you can't send a man to Battalion Aid when his hearts all the way back in California."

"Pierce..."

"I'll go."

"You think that'll help?"

"I don't think BJ will have his mind on the job right now."

"It's only fair he makes the call."

"He'll not agree to that, you know he won't. J-just say it was an error and no one realised until later."

"Why do you have to complicate everything, Pierce?"

Hawkeye smiled at the Colonel. "Well, what fun would this War be without complications?"

"Just get yourself ready to go in five minutes."

"Thank you, Colonel," Hawkeye said, turning to head off towards the swamp.

"Pierce?" Hawkeye stopped and turned back towards the older man. "Be careful."

~

Margaret put the last box of supplies in the Jeep as Klinger tied them down.

"That's all we can spare, Major."

"It should help."

"Klinger, can you do me a favour?" Hawkeye said, emerging from the swamp, combat helmet in hand.

"Sure thing, Sir." Hawkeye had pulled out some notes and stuffed a few in Klinger's hand. "Get Charles and BJ a drink on me."

"A surprise?" Klinger queried.

"No, tell BJ to have a good night and I'll see him later, okay?"

"Sure thing.."

"But don't let him leave. Make sure he stays there for a bit."

"Okay, Captain"

"Pierce, where's your bunkmate, we're supposed to be leaving," Margaret asked, annoyance creeping into her tone.

"Change of plan," he said as he put his bag and helmet in the Jeep. "I just need to see Radar and I'm good to go."

"Oh, hurry up!" she called after him, sitting in the passenger seat of the Jeep, arms folded as she waited for him.

Radar was in the office when Hawkeye came in. "Radar,..."

"Oh hey Hawkeye, Colonel Potter was just telling me about how you were going to the Aid Station so BJ doesn't have too..."

"Listen, Radar..."

"I think that's swell of you, sir..."

"Radar, I have to get going, Margaret's waiting already. Look, I need you to do me a favour."

"Oh, sure thing."

"The package that Peg sent me? It's for BJ for Christmas, a surprise. Chances are, I'm not gonna be back here by then."

"Oh," Radar said, the thought that Hawkeye and Margaret wouldn't be with them for Christmas suddenly dawning on him.

"Father Mulcahy was looking after the gift for me. I need you to speak to him, make sure that he gets it to BJ for Peg, okay?"

"Oh sure thing, Hawk. I'll make sure of it, don't you worry."

"Thanks, Radar."

"Hey Hawk? Will you two be okay up there?"

Hawkeye saw the worry in Radar's eyes. "Everything will be fine, don't worry."

~

"Okay, everybody out and over to the mess tent. There's enough food there for everyone." Father Mulcahy said, helping the orphans out of the truck.

Klinger and Radar came out hearing the truck pull up and helped the kids out, Radar showing them the way to the mess tent.

"Oh Klinger, you and Major Houlihan have done a wonderful job with the mess tent so far. It's very festive."

"Thanks, Father, but there's still more to do and the Major's had to head to Battalion Aid with Captain Pierce to help out."

"Oh, my. Well if you need any help Klinger I'll certainly do my best to assist you."

"Thanks, Father."

"Radar?" Potter called as he exited the office. "Oh Parde, good to see you back."

"Hello, Colonel." Mulcahy greeted.

"You need me, Sir?"

"See if you can get a call through to Mildred will you, Son? I'd really appreciate talking to her and wishing her a Merry Christmas."

"I'll get right on it."

Radar rushed off to carry out the task while Klinger entertained the kids in the mess tent. "I hear there's trouble at Battalion Aid," Mulcahy mentioned.

"Some of their people got injured by a shell. They need some temporary relief until some replacements get to them"

"Oh, that's such a shame. Margaret worked so hard on this Christmas party and she has to miss it."

"Not to mention how dangerous it is up there. You know, back here you almost get a sense of safety but it's so much worse there. And I barely even think about it until we send our people down there."

Mulcahy put a supportive hand on Colonel Potter's arm. "Our hearts bleed enough for the wounded we get here, Colonel. We all only have so much we can give."

Potter gave Mulcahy a knowing look and nodded slightly. "Looks like we're going to have our hands full with this lot anyway."

"Right. Once they've eaten we're going to have story time by the fire in the mess tent before telling them all about what will happen tomorrow and be tucking them up for the night."

Potter smiled. "I can't wait to don the Santa suit, Father."

~

"Pierce, if you sing one more line of Jingle Bells..." Margaret warned.

"Oh come on, Major, I'm just trying to get into the Christmas spirit."

"We're driving towards the frontline in a Warzone. Nothing about this says Christmas spirit."

"Gee, if I'd known you were going to be like this I never would have volunteered."

"You never volunteer for anything," Margaret said suddenly, the fact just coming to her. "Why now?"

Hawkeye shrugged, "Well, Korea is so lovely this time of year and I thought I may not get another chance to see the front line in Winter."

"Pierce..." Margaret warned, her patience running out.

He shot her a quick glance and sighed. "All I've done is to switch with BJ. He's missing his family and I didn't think his mind was in the right place to be here."

"That's very thoughtful," Margaret said after a pause. "You know, sometimes you're not such a jerk."

He looked at her, a little taken back for a moment until he saw the quirk of her lip. He smiled. "Now, are you going to sing Jingle Bells with me or what?"

~

BJ headed back to camp.

His mood had improved since Klinger came over and gave both him and Charles a drink, paid for by Hawkeye. A message of understanding with it and BJ felt his resolve begin to crumble. It was no one here's fault at his situation. He knew they were here and most didn't want to be, just like him. Taking his mood out of them wasn't going to help.

He could hear the commotion at the mess tent as he passed but headed to the swamp, wanting to see if Hawkeye was there first. He found the Swamp empty so headed to the mess tent where he could hear the noise from the orphans. He quickly scanned the room for Hawkeye. As the room was still mostly filled with kids, the adults stuck out easily. Not to mention that Hawk wasn't the quietest man either and he could usually be heard a mile off. BJ made his way through the mess tent over to Klinger and Mulcahy. "Quite the party you got here."

"Everything should be set for tomorrow," Mulcahy said.

"Have either of you two seen Hawkeye?"

The pair met eyes quickly. "You don't know?" Mulcahy queried.

"Know what?" BJ asked.

"He's gone to Battalion Aid with Major Houlihan." Klinger filled in.

"He..." BJ stopped for a moment "He's gone already?"

"Yes Sir," Klinger filled in. "He didn't want you to know he'd gone," Klinger added, guilt plainly written on his face.

"That's why he sent you with drinks?" Klinger merely nodded.

Wasn't it bad enough BJ had Christmas without his family? Now he had to go through it without Hawkeye.

"Are you okay, BJ?" Mulcahy asked. BJ nodded a little. "We could use some help with all these orphans. We can make sure they have a wonderful day. Could you help?"

BJ smiled sadly looking at the sad and unsure faces of the children around him. "Sure thing Father."


End file.
